Dear Breast Cancer

What do you think you’re doing? What is your end goal with this? I mean I can’t imagine one positive thing about what you do.

Do you know that guy who wants to go drive to an all night bar in the country after you’ve all been drinking at a friend’s place since you got back from the club? That’s who you are. Just a stupid asshole with a stupid asshole plan that know one wants any part of.

Maybe if you took some time off and thought about what you’re doing you’ll see that it’s time for a change. So just think a little, please.

Just so we’re clear though. Whether you think about it or not and/or change your mind about your goals in life, I’d just like you to know that I’ll be kicking the shit out of you and your stupid cancerface if you decide to pester my mom. Just so we’re clear.

Sternly yours,


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